Situations can cause us to become hurt, angry, or upset. When we least expect it, tempers flare or disappointments occur because the enemy is always busy. Many people believe it is perfectly reasonable to “unleash” and let others know exactly how you feel, but what does God consider effective communication for Christians? Whether at work, home, or church, we should want to bring God glory and honor at all times. There are four principles of effective Christian communication, and what we see from others may differ significantly from what God commands.
Table of Contents
As a Speech-Language Pathologist, I teach children to speak and express themselves clearly. As a Christian, I must be willing to be a student to learn what God says about how I should express myself. The Bible teaches us what God considers effective communication for Christians at home or work.
Words can build up or tear down. Our communication can make a situation better or, indeed, make it worse. The Bible tells us that we should be mindful of the power of our words at all times, as death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21 KJV).
Four principles should govern our communication as Christians. Whether we are writing or speaking, as Christians, we want to glorify God and bless others when we speak. Conscious of these four principles, we will honor God and others with our words.
- Principle 1: Effective Christian communication involves monitoring what is said.
- Principle 2: Effective Christian communication entails being mindful of the emotions or feelings behind our spoken words.
- Principle 3: Effective Christian communication requires us to examine our tone of voice.
- Principle 4: Effective Christian communication consists of checking the motivation behind our words.
Effective Christian Communication Involves Monitoring What is Said
Effective communication includes monitoring what is said, and the first principle should consist of truth. Nowadays, the world fights over the definition of a simple word like “truth.” For many, truth depends on which news station we listen to, how we “feel,” or what we “think.” People have begun to say things like “my truth,” as if truth ebbs, flows, and changes for each of us. For a Christian, there should only be one truth: God’s Word. God is truth, and what His Word says is true.
As children, we learned the Ten Commandments, and we know the one that says not to bear false witness. We know that we are to love one another, and loving each other does not include lying to each other. The Bible clearly states that our communication should be truthful. Why have we stepped away from this simple truth?
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.
Ephesians 4:5 ESV
Effective Christian Communication Entails Being Mindful of the Emotions or Feelings Behind Our Spoken Words
We have all been guilty of speaking too quickly and possibly saying something we wish we hadn’t. It can feel as if we can see the words leave our lips and immediately want to retract and put them back. When we let the words fly out without being mindful of our emotions or feelings, we may say something we wish we hadn’t. God does not want us to live with regret, so he reminds us to take our time and think about what we will say before we speak it. Love is the emotion we should feel when we speak; if we do not, we may need God’s help.
We are reminded not to speak in haste (James 1:19), not to be rash (Proverbs 12:18), speak in anger, or give full vent (Proverbs 29:11). Instead, as Christians, we are told to be wise, gentle, kind, and ponder how to answer. The Bible states that we must answer every carelessly spoken word (Matthew 12:36). If we are upset, it may be better to walk away and pray rather than risk saying something we can not take back.
Effective Christian Communication Requires Us To Examine Our Tone Of Voice
As adults, we often chastise our children for “how they talk to us.” In other words, we get upset with our children if they use a disrespectful tone. I know I probably sound just like my mother when I hear myself say to my teenage girls, “Watch your tone, young lady.” I am sure everyone with adolescent girls can relate. We must remember to watch our tone when we communicate with others. The Bible says that we should speak the truth in love.
As Christians, we should pursue peace and mutual upbuilding (Romans 14:19). The Bible tells us that our speech should be gracious, which means we should exhibit kindness and courtesy. If our words are careless, they can be like pouring gasoline on a burning fire. If we choose what to say wisely, it can be as if we are seasoning what we say, and therefore, what we say can be more easily “digested.” The Bible reminds us to use a gentle tongue, a soft answer, encouragement, and to avoid quarreling.
To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.
Titus 3:2 ESV
Effective Christian Communication Mandates Checking The Motivation Behind Our Words
We should always examine the motivation behind our words to ensure we are not falling into sin. For example, if tempted to exaggerate a truth, we must quickly realize and deal with why we want to tell an untruth. Perhaps we are trying to impress someone or make ourselves look good.
The enemy knows the power of our words and would love it if we become prideful, gossip, speak untruths, brag, or judge others. Our Heavenly Father does not want us to do any of these because He wants us to love each other and not hurt others. Sometimes, we would be wise to “hold our peace.”
A Prayer to Communicate Effectively
Whether at work, home or in church, our communication should indicate that we are children of God. We should want to bring God glory and honor at all times. If we lose our temper and use hurtful or obscene communication toward others, we will not be glorifying God. The Bible tells us that we will get angry sometimes, but we should not sin, and we should not remain mad. Let’s pray and ask God to help us learn to communicate effectively as Christians.
Thank you so much for taking the time to put together these words of wisdom. I look forward to checking your website regularly. I teach at my church for Sunday school another auxiliaries. This will be a great help. God bless you.
God bless you and your church! Your comment blessed me today.